I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
