Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
