Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize