i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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