I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
