Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
