one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Randomize