i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
