Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Randomize
