Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
