I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i think i have herpe
just one?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
My vagina just clenched in fear
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
