I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
