I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
