It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize