I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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