I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
