I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
