Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
