sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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