he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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