I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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