bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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