you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
We have so much sex to catch up on
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Randomize
