also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
