if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
