something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
