Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
bring money and cleavage
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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