I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
They have beer where we have blood.
Drunk is not a location!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize