having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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