and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
