I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Randomize
