her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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