I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
