Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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