i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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