Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
