dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
