Soap is not a condiment
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
