Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.