My girlfriend figured out who you are.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.