Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information