Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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