just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What a dumb baby whore.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
