Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

i got excepted to unl lol

(402): View more from Nebraska

You mean "accepted".

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(402): i got excepted to unl lol (402): You mean "accepted". http://tfl.nu/3nr7

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(702): View more from Nevada

His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.

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(702): His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding. http://tfl.nu/4b44

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(404): View more from Georgia

hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away

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(404): hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away http://tfl.nu/s83j

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(302): View more from Delaware

I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.

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(302): I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that. http://tfl.nu/9h2q

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(941): View more from Florida

She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???

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(941): She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina??? http://tfl.nu/hnyt

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position

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(+44): i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position http://tfl.nu/45mu

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.

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(267): The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon. http://tfl.nu/yrqs

Replies (8) Good night (1000) Bad night (3682)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...

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(920): Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around... http://tfl.nu/q37r

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(714): View more from California

Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"

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(714): Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty" http://tfl.nu/39ju

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(419): View more from Ohio

If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick

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(419): If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick http://tfl.nu/n6tx

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(916): View more from California

She said she liked strap-ons.

(1-916): View more from California

SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!

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(916): She said she liked strap-ons. (1-916): SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER! http://tfl.nu/41v6

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".

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(603): From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon". http://tfl.nu/l6av

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(949): View more from California

Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.

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(949): Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame. http://tfl.nu/sj6o

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(954): View more from Florida

She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering

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(954): She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering http://tfl.nu/ujc0

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?

(231): View more from Michigan

Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.

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(401): Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here? (231): Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds. (401): I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window. http://tfl.nu/vqmu

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