this just has baby written all over it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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