there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
