Texts From Last Night

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  (435): View more from Utah

  I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

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  (435): I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated. http://tfl.nu/6ris
  Replies (15) Good night (6202) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father

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  (917): hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father http://tfl.nu/ngdo
  Replies (44) Good night (1990) Bad night (9090)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her

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  (407): we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her http://tfl.nu/n8un
  Replies (10) Good night (4840) Bad night (968)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.

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  (810): GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK. http://tfl.nu/7sxv
  Replies (9) Good night (6737) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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  (314): Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one http://tfl.nu/zke4
  Replies (3) Good night (1076) Bad night (3104)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat

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  (440): the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat http://tfl.nu/81cx
  Replies (11) Good night (3109) Bad night (1433)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...

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  (330): Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late... http://tfl.nu/fji7
  Replies (5) Good night (3442) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?

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  (919): Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill? http://tfl.nu/kp4x
  Replies (7) Good night (2160) Bad night (956)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.

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  (831): I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET. http://tfl.nu/2kw0
  Replies (13) Good night (2531) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?

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  (513): Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done? http://tfl.nu/t5qr
  Replies (13) Good night (2865) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.

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  (206): When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later. http://tfl.nu/tpks
  Replies (5) Good night (745) Bad night (1142)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

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  (604): My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me. http://tfl.nu/tvzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1136) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..

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  (518): I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls.. http://tfl.nu/o5go
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..

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  (920): I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever.. http://tfl.nu/5ore
  Replies (6) Good night (669) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt

  (1-650): View more from California

  Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here

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  (650): Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt (1-650): Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here http://tfl.nu/56ff
  Replies (0) Good night (683) Bad night (315)

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