Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
