He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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