yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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