i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
