Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
