so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
