Your tits are I can't wait for
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
