And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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