Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
