I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
