I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
