I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
