Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
