I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
