Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
