I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The uberlube is also flammable
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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