It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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