M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of