Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
