Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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