She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
