If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
