Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
After last night, I could never be a politician.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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